THE LIFE AND TIMES OF RUMMY CARUMBO
Rummy Carumbo is the stage name of Rummy Carumbo, a writer, assassin and sea monkey enthusiast. He was raised by feral line dancers (a ruthless, but syncronised race) and spent many of his early years forced to wear ill-fitting, bejeweled cowboy outfits which had become too small for his younger sister. Much of his time was spent competing on the bare-knuckle freestyle dancing scene, receiving regular insults from the crowd about his mediocre pirouettes. The majority of the crowd was his own immediate family. However, he quickly rose to infamy on the village break-dance circuit, on account of his unusual style, combining traditional ballroom with the Hammer Slide. During one particularly heated dance off, it is rumoured that he danced young Gerald Winklebottom to death, however, it it is thought that Gerald actually only lost his hat. And an arm.
A well traveled and worldly-wise man; he has ventured as far as Hull and even saw a woman’s boobs once. But not in Hull. That momentous occasion occurred when his neighbour had forgotten to close her curtains before getting undressed. Thus making his past year’s eight-hourly nightly stakeouts worth it.
He currently enjoys in-depth discussions about algebra at dinner parties, despite not understanding even basic arithmetic.
This website is things that have escaped from his brain and into your eyes.
Stage 1: Make website
Stage 2: ?
Stage 3: Rule the world