Beliebe me, as a 58 year old mental patient, I appreciate Bieber as much as the guys in the cells next to me; however, I feel that his actions at his last gig were utterly unacceptable. In protest, I have started temporarily removing most of the posters of the lyrical wonder-kid from the walls of my padded room. Let that be a lesson to you Bieber.
Until I receive a full written apology from the teen icon, I will remove one poster a day from my walls, giving my beloved Justin a mere 2 months to apologise, before my walls are restored to their fully padded and sound-proofed glory. Unfortunately, as a result of the restraining orders and guards at the door to my room, I can’t get close enough to the Prince of Pop (and my heart); so if anyone reading this is a close personal friend of Justin, please let him know about my protest and we can all return to our normal lives. On receipt of the afore-mentioned written apology.
Until recently, I was a high-powered captain of industry. However, having unfortunately contracted Bieber Fever (and herpes) from one of the local women of the night; it was recommended by the courts that I have a brief stay in the local home for the mentally impaired. Here, having decided that my body couldn’t take going cold turkey, I’ve been restricted to a mere 4 hours a day of Beiber’s angelic tones and genre-defining melodies – a severe breach of my human rights by anyone’s standards. Additionally, I have been forced to rid myself of all Jonas Brothers memorabilia in order to make room for my life-size cutouts of The Biebster, all at great personal expense to myself and what thanks did I get? Another restraining order. That’s gratitude for you. That’s the thing with pop stars these days, they’re too distant from their fans and it’s all “personal safety this and personal security that”.
I don’t feel that there is enough medical research being done on the long-term effects of Bieber Fever. The medical profession is sitting at the sidelines, uninterested, letting people be continually struck down by terrible music taste and general disappointment.